Heart surgery.
No, it isn't open heart. It's a standard procedure that anyone with supraventricular tachycardia can get instead of having to take medicine the rest of their life. My doctor will place probes through my legs into my heart in order to get a better picture of where my extra pacemaker cells are and burn a small portion of them. For me, this is going to be my saving grace; I forget to take medicine when it's prescribed for long periods of time.
I've had SVT for a while, but it hasn't bothered me until now. My senior year, the year everything should be perfect; however, it's put me through a roller coaster ride. But it's been worth it. I've been able to meet some incredible doctors, realize I'm not who I thought I was, and rely on God a lot more. Being someone who wants to go into the medical field, it's hard for me to learn that I have a health condition. Sure, SVT isn't the deadliest thing out there to have, but to me, a 17 year old senior about to head out to college, it's pretty scary. I want to be the person helping other people out of their issues, not vice versa. I don't want to have my parents feel like something may happen at any possible second. And I definitely don't want to be kept from doing something I love because of a medical problem.
I've had to accept the fact that it's okay to have another medical issue on top of everything else being thrown at me this year; it's nothing to be ashamed of. God created me just the way he intended to, and I can't change that. He does things to make us grow. We are the clay, and he is the potter:
God has made us to where we have to learn to get through life. We can't just breeze through it and end up standing in Heaven without a few trials and errors on our behalves. We have to be broken, shattered if you will, to pieces and be put back together again. We have to be at our most vulnerable point and realize that without him, we can't be whole. He is the only one who can put us back together again by placing us in the kiln. We have to go through fire in order to be where God wants us. Remember, God hasn't made any mistakes; he just wants to tweak his designs a little.
Yet you, LORD, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.
-Isaiah 64:8
I hope ya'll have a great Easter holiday. Don't forget: It's not all about the chocolate bunnies, marshmallow peeps, and dyed eggs. It's about God, his love for us, and his willingness to send his son to die.
Feliz Semana Santa,
Tori
